In October’s Issue of the Ganja Gazette, I’m going to continue my foray into the world of edible products and put a whole new meaning to “tossing your salad.” First of all, I’m totally blown away – putting weed into candies and pastries is one thing, but infusing it into olive oil is pure fucking genius. Coming from an Italian heritage steeped in homemade pasta and marinara from scratch, I’m getting a hard on thinking about all of the dishes I can throw together – pesto, aglio e olio, dipping sauces, vinaigrettes, and so much more. However, I’ve been cutting back on the carbs recently and testing my gluten tolerance, so immediately, pasta and bread are out of the mix for my options. I decide on a salad – especially because I really dig making my own dressing. The salad greens and fixings are the easy part – throw together some spinach leaves, fresh mushrooms, cucumbers, shredded carrots, thinly sliced radishes, chopped walnuts, and some crisp apple chunks. Now for the piece de resistance – a dijon vinaigrette:
Mind you it’s been a rough week and I’m looking to escape a little bit and relax. I’m planning on slathering my salad with weed-infused dressing so I can space out a bit for the next few hours. I take 3 tablespoons of the olive oil and mix it with 3 tablespoons of red wine vinegar. Next, I add in about a tablespoon of dijon mustard. Squeeze in the juice of a half of a lemon, and throw in some Italian seasoning, salt, and pepper to taste. Whisk or shake it all together and you’ve got yourself a stellar dressing that will send you to the stars.
I douse my salad with my ‘herb’al concoction and start munching away. The spinach leaves and salad fixings have absorbed a good deal of the oil – and I know that’s a very good sign. I chow heartily and finish my dinner in about 10 minutes. I flip on the tube and calmly wait for my buzz to arrive.
An hour quickly passes, and I’m engrossed in an GoT episode. I go to pick up the remote to change the channel, when the buzz hits me like a ton of fucking bricks. My arms are rubbery and weigh 1000 pounds. My face and cheeks feel like they are melting off the bone. I give up on my attempt to grab the remote and let my head fall back into the couch, close my eyes and drift off into oblivion.
Normally I’m not a fan of such deep marijuana intoxication, but after the week I’ve had the buzz is a welcome moment of relaxation. I let my body sink deeper into the couch and feel the stress drift away. It’s hard to say how long the high lasted – I fell asleep in the middle of it, mouth open and drooling on myself. I woke up a solid eight hours later, a pile of arms and legs in the corner of my couch not fully realizing what had happened the night before. On the other hand, I was refreshed, relaxed and ready to start my Saturday morning chores.
In conclusion, when used in large quantity, the cannabis infused olive oil is no fucking joke. It packs a major punch and will leave you glued to your couch for a considerable amount of time. However, I’ve got plans for a milder pesto to mix in with some gluten-free noodles in the very near future. I think the buzz will be much more manageable with my next dose. Do you remember Chris Rock’s Jailbreak Special skit where he asks a prisoner if he prefers his ‘salad tossed’ with jelly or syrup? I say neither – I’ll opt for Nature’s Herbs Cannabis Infused Olive Oil.
Catch ya on the flipside.